Wrath of Con

The good Dr. Von Hoffman has posted his annual survey of horrific marketing blunders.

Gird up yer loins before reading, for quarter is neither asked nor given….

Dear Mr. Crabby Old Chessplayer #6

Dear Mr. Crabby Chess Player.

I am a low A player and I pride myself on combining an aggressive approach and a high degree of objectivity. If you must know, I am an actuary by profession. So I possess a good understanding of real risk versus perceived risk.

I very nearly won this recent OTB game against an expert, and in fine style. Alas, he cheapo’d me on the queenside. I know that your honest evaluation of my annotations will help me break through to candidate master.

AtomSmasher – Expert

1.  d4   Nf6   
2.  Bg5  e6   
3.  f3   h6  
4.  Bh4  c5 
5.  Bf2  d5  
6.  dxc5 Na6  
His knight is dim on the rim.

7.  Nc3  Bxc5  
8.  Bxc5 Nxc5

9.  Qd4  Qe7   My queen is active in the center.

10. O-O-O  a6     With my king safe I am ready to surge forward on the kingside. Opposite-wing castling always leads to a race.

11. g4  b5   
12. h4  Bb7  
13. Qd2 b4  
14. Nb1 Rc8  
15. g5  hxg5  
16. Qxg5   g6    
Black has to burn a move on defense and now his dark squares are weak weak weak.

17. Bg2   b3 
18. Nc3  d4    

Black drops a pawn

 DIAGRAM. Black blunders a pawn, but I figured why take this d4 pawn when I can spend the tempo bringing my knight into the attack?


19. Ne4  Bxe4   
20. fxe4  bxa2  
Wienerschnitzel. Despite my advantage in space I have fallen into a fork (21.Kd2 Nd4+ nicks my queen).  0-1.

Black was on the ropes – Where did I go wrong?

 
Sincerely, AtomSmasher.

 

Dear AtomSmasher:

Looks like your mistake was showing up. This unprepared lunge with g4 reminds me of watching a seventh-grade band dork trying to hit on the ninth-grade cheerleading squad captain.  Do chess a favor and stick with life insurance.

- MCOCP

There’s more to life than surviving nuclear holocaust

That idea that cockroaches are indestructible?

Nature has dealt them a special adversary to keep them humble: the emerald cockroach wasp, which poisons a roach’s brain in a particular spot to render it docile, then chews off half its antennae, then drags it to a cave and buries it with a wasp egg on its back which will turn into a larva which …

I can’t even say it. It’s too horrible.

Better than you remember

I don’t care about the videos (which are indeed ridiculous) but dismissal of these bands as sort of campy 80s junk misses the point. They made some interesting music that holds up quite nicely, thanks:

Go ahead, make fun of me. I’m ready.

Critics love “Wuthering Heights”!

Masterpiece Classics’ Wuthering Heights” is the feel-good PBS special of the year!” – Lola Palooza

“Laugh-out loud, bust-a-gut funny!” – Egobert Reaper

“Charlotte Bronte – it was Charlotte, not Emily, right? whatever – stands alone as the funniest contemporary Gothic-incest humor novelist-of-English-manners.” – getmorepopcorn.com

“That thing where Heathcliff climbs down in the coffin and gropes his dead lover’s skeleton – that sh** was hilarious!” – easierthanreading.com

 

Chipmunk Hunter

Know this: No matter how quick a chipmunk may be, I will capture it.

No matter how clever the burrowing rodent, I will detain it. No matter how Belichickian in confidence, no matter how carefree it may be in cavorting across the steps of my front porch, no matter how deeply it may have dug to undermine my entire driveway, no matter how many exit holes it may have excavated and re-excavated after I dropped in pound after pound of pea gravel – still will I come forth with my gleaming Havaheart traps of alloyed aluminum. And I will catch its scrawny little striped butt.

For I am the Mighty Chipmunk Hunter.

Child’s play

I/O part 2

If you want better outputs, use better/new inputs.

So I’m just beginning to read Atlas Shrugged. Why? I’m actually developing an interest in governance, particularly as it pertains to economic issues. This week I watched on CSPAN a plenary session of a Federalist Society meeting that featured a panel of two law-school professors, Steve Forbes and a labor union representative. (Did I really just write that sentence?) It was really interesting, particularly as it highlighted the fact that two smart people can look at the same historical events and pick exact opposite reasons as the causal factors. Anyway I am trying to shrug off the most shrill and sensational voices in politics and instead gain a real understanding of conservative economic philosophy. Atlas Shrugged checks in at an intimidating 1000+ pages of small type, but I keep telling myself I’ve plowed through Shogun 10 times, so I can do it.

On the chess front, I’ve lucked* onto a squad for February’s US Amateur Team East that could compete on the top boards. So I better get my books on. To that end I’ve ordered an endgame book and an opening book, and constructed a study/practice plan to be in top shape by the time I hit Parsippany. Good inputs + hard work = better play.

*Actually it’s not luck. The key is to know Boston Blitz assistant manager Matt Phelps.

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