Linguist of Fortune

Gotta love serious academicians who also enjoy poking fun at their own chosen field of specialization. For a veritable feast of such inside jokes, see Linguist of Fortune (“Journal of the Linguistic Society of South-Central New Calendonia”, actually written and edited by graduate students in Texas and Michigan or some such places), Psammeticus Quarterly and Speculative Grammarian, all here. My brother Keith (the one who can spell Ph.D.) is partly responsible.

When I say inside jokes, believe me. Among the more layman-accessible articles are: 

“The Geological/Climatological Significance of Finno-Ugric Roots in Colloquial Dolphin” which presents a string of incontrovertible logic ending with

6. Finally, since dolphins need a warm climate, we must conclude that either

   a. the equator once ran through Riga and Volgograd, or

   b. the ice age was in fact a jungle period 

and my favorite, “Divine Unification Grammar”, which finishes with an appendix on the Gods of Grammar, including

Nullifica  Goddess of the Things That Are There But Can’t Be Seen. Has dominion over all empty categories. Priests of Nullifica are conspicuously absent at all major functions, although places for them are always prepared. The High Priest is currently not living in Montreal. 

Typhon “The Deletor” God of Things That Aren’t There. Typhon is responsible for the absence of things in sentences (this is NOT to be confused with the presence of nothing, which is the province of Nullifica; many heated arguments have not occurred between the two sects over which phenomena fall into which deity’s realm).

Did I mention these are inside jokes?

Linguist of Fortune


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