Did you know that your chess opening repertoire completely reveals your personality? Just like those Chinese restaurant placemats….
OPENINGS FOR BLACK AND WHAT THEY MEAN ABOUT YOU
You are combative, brave, and confident in your own resourcefulness.
A sharp positional maneuverer in life as in chess. Always challenging the status quo, even at personal risk.
Sorry, but you’re rather a passive-aggressive little weasel, aren’t you? You avoid overt conflict, preferring to cast aspersions behind others’ backs.
Basically solid and reliable, game for a tussle, but also with slight masochistic tendencies. In particular the Guimard subvariation often indicates a very, very sick person.
You bore everyone around you, including your own spouse and children.
Alekhine and/or Dutch
You are bold, incisive, heroic, altruistic, wise and brilliant! Your presence keeps chess alive and interesting! The chess world gives you honor and thanks! (However, you are also completely unstable.)
AND FOR WHITE….
You fancy yourself a swashbuckler, but others more accurately perceive you as having a very limited understanding of any kind of chess that doesn’t involve a sacrifice on f7. While your intentions are aggressive, sadly you lack the cojones of a King’s Gambiteer.
Noble, correct, honorable and direct. Interested in active and logical play but not at unjustifiable risk. (Unless you play the Exchange line, in which case, see “Exchange Variations” below.)
Content to let Black take the lead, you hide uncertainty and timidity behind a mask of positional considerations.
A perfectionist and player of beautiful chess, though your artistic sensibilities may hinder your tournament effectiveness.
Exchange Variations of Ruy, French, Caro Kann, Slav, and/or QGD
A dullard, a lifeless automaton, and a complete narcissist, you are unable to give joy to anyone around you. Please retire from chess and take up knitting.