What I want for Christmas

A Total Chess Immersion Unit.

The TCIU is a sound-proof pod with indirect lighting. Inside is a comfy leather captain’s chair, a DGT electronic sensor chessboard with a beautiful custom carved Staunton set, multiple video screens with an extensive instructional DVD library, and redundant high-speed Internet connections for ICC.

The unit features a Dolby surround sound stereo system to crank Era Vulgaris or Ride of the Valkeries or whatever.

And it sits on an industrial shake table – the kind they use to test satellites to make sure they can withstand launch vibrations. When you slam down your bishop and deliver check, KABLAM, the DGT board gives a signal and the whole unit quakes like San Francisco.

Tim Newman and I cooked this up years ago. Now I really want one.

18 thoughts on “What I want for Christmas

  1. I think this is available at the House of Staunton for $6999. Actually, that might be the price for just one of their sets — I think I am just confused from the daily ads they have been sending me.

  2. Awesome idea! That, of course, is not in many people’s budgets.

    the DGT board gives a signal and the whole unit quakes like San Francisco.

    LOL! For some reason, the phrase “The NBA Jam of Chess” comes to mind. (the old 2 vs 2 craziness version)

    Chess Jam: Fast moving, only 3 sec to make a move, or you lose it. Power-ups randomly pop-up on the squares; land a piece on a square with the “N3” power-up, and that piece gets to move like a Knight for the next 3 turns… Bishops raining 3-pointers down the diagonals…

    Or maybe not.

  3. @LEP: He’s heating up! haha, or on a particularly nasty fork: Boomshakalaka!!

    Maybe we invent the Chess Jam video game, and then use the proceeds to finance this other project. It’s really too bad that there’s no market for a TCIU or else maybe someone would actually invent it.

  4. this is exactly the sort of reason that i love to read your blog, the way a sports nut reads espn or sports illustrated or si or whatever. i dont want to be out of the loop on what is important. :)

  5. There is no doubt that if I had a TCIU in my house it would be known to others in said house as the “Dork Pod” and there would be no need whatsoever to install a restricted-access system. That would shave at least a few dollars off the retail price, anyway. ;)

  6. I want a mobile version of it to take to tournaments. That way I can keep all the noise from the tournament room out, and be in ultimate comfort. I guess it would have to be a little bigger to allow my opponent to sit in there with me. I wouldn’t want to have leave to give him the moves. :-)

  7. Maybe we just strap a big display monitor to the outside so he can see your moves without invading your space.

    Too many smelly chessplayers. I’m not manufacturing a two-seater. :)

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