I come home from work and my wife serves dinner. It’s pork tenderloin with brown rice and snap peas.
Me: The pork is nicely done but your flavor profiles are off.
Her: That’s the way I cook it and your palate is weak.
Me: Oh? Well these peas are like Culinary School 101.
Her: It is what it is.
Me: Stand by your dish!
Her: It’s better than your lasagna yesterday, which lacked acid and could have been cleverly done as a ceviche.
Me: Oh yeah? Well you have immunity so you should be taking a back seat.
Her: So take your fat butt and your two teeth back to your double-wide and fry something.
Me: Okay but I’m taking the rice with me. You layered your flavors there and the truffle at the bottom of the dish there was such a luxurious surprise. Whose idea was that?
Her: That was me.
Me: So you win a box of kitchen-size Glad stretchware and a lifetime supply of hot & sour soup from The Lotus Flower in Framingham.