Guest blogger: Sasquatch

Bigfoot? Really. “Big Foot?” That’s all you could think of? It’s the 21st century and we’re still going to make fun of each other’s anatomical attributes? It’s like I’m being pursued by a pack of slack-witted 13-year-old boys.

For years I thought, yeah, you’ll see me when I’m good and ready. I’ll come out when you demonstrate you’re ready to stop the name-calling.

But lately I’ve changed my mind. I’ll come out once I’ve cut down to 260 – the first thing I’m going to do is sign a UFC contract and mop the floor with Brock Lesnar. You’re all going to find out what a ‘freak of nature’ REALLY looks like.

[Editor’s note: He didn’t blog it but when I asked why there are so few of his kind, he noted that the last several generations of young lady Sasquatches apparently aren’t into hairy backs.]

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