Thanks but no, I don’t need 4lbs of chicken parm, I just wanted dinner

Dear Restaurant People:

It has become difficult to order a hamburger of less than 1/2 pound. Tuesday night in Rhode Island I was served a plate of chicken parm that nearly buckled the waitress’s back.

Thanks for contributing to my efforts to become fatter and less patient, but this is ridiculous. Cut your portions. Manuel can order sides and dessert.

Sincerely,

Reassembler

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5 thoughts on “Thanks but no, I don’t need 4lbs of chicken parm, I just wanted dinner

  1. Mmmmm… four pounds of Chicken Parm….

    One of the heinous chain restaurants get props from me by offering smaller portions for less money. I forget which, and still won’t eat there, but it’s a good idea.

    -Matt

  2. Amen to that. I regularly have business dinners with people from Europe, and they have one thing in common: they’re usually surprised/shocked/amused by the ridiculously large portions served in the US.

    No wonder this country is #1 when it comes to obesity.

  3. It’s not just dinners. Every order a sandwich from a deli where they put about a pound of meat in the sandwich. Charge me 1/2 the price and give me about 3 oz . I don’t need that much.

  4. See that’s the thing. The assumption on their part that I want two (or three meals) is faulty. In RI, I was staying in a hotel with no fridge. Can’t spend the night getting up every two hours to ice down the leftovers.

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