When we sat down to play chess at the club Tuesday, my opponent David Harris tried to set up his digital clock and found the battery dead. I pulled out my ancient Jerger windup. Seated on a neighboring board, Rolf Wetzell offered to lend his digital clock instead, but David, in his typical dry humorous manner, made a dismissive gesture and said “Who needs increment? Tonight, let’s play like men!”
So we did.
Harris (2070) – Slater (2128)
1.e4 In ancient Persian and Indian forms of chess, anyone who played the un-manly 1.d4 was unceremoniously fed to wild animals.
1…e6 2.d4 d5 3.Nc3 Nf6 4.Bg5 Bb4 The testosterone-fueled McCutcheon variation! Named after a bloodthirsty Scot who rebelled against England and killed all his battlefield victims with dental floss.
5.e5 h6 6.Be3 Ne4 7.a3 Ba5 8.Qg4 Kf8 Castling is for cowards!
9.Ne2 c5 10.b4?! A manly sacrifice! White plans to attack on both wings at the same time! See diagram 1.)
10…Nxc3 11.Nxc3 cxb4 12.axb4 Bxb4 13.Bd2 Bd7 14.h4 Nc6 15.Rh3 Ne7 16.Bd3 Rc8 17.Rg3 g6 18.Ne2 Bxd2+ 19.Kxd2 a6 20.h5 g5 21.f4 Nf5 22.Bxf5 exf5 23.Qf3 Be6 24.fxg5 hxg5 25.Qa3+ Kg7 Mutual hyperaggression has earned both players a terrible position!
26.Qe3 Kh6 27.Qb3 Rc7 28.Rb1 Qe7 29.Rc3 Rhc8 30.Rxc7 Rxc7 31.g3 Qd7 32.Qa3 Qe7 33.Qe3 b5 34.Nc1 Rc4 35.Nd3 Qa3 36.Rb3 Qa1 37.Nb2 Rc6 38.Nd3 Rc4 39.Nb2 Rc8 40.Nd3 Qh1
Ha ha, on to sudden death! (I laugh at sudden death!) Second time control is g/30.
41.Nf2 Qh2 42.Rb1 f4 43.gxf4 gxf4 44.Qe2 Qg3 45.Rb3 Qg5 46.Qf3 Bf5 How’s that bad French bishop look now, Mr. Phelps? See diagram 2.
47.Nd3 Rc4 48.Qf2 f3+ 49.Kd1 Qxh5 50.Ne1 Be4 50…Rxd4+ didn’t occur to me – 51.Qxd4 f2+ wins, though White can keep slogging on for a few moves with 51.Nd3 instead.
51.Ra3 Rc6 52.c4 Trying to close lines and keep the Black rook out.
52…bxc4 53.Qe3+ Kg7 54.Nxf3 Rg6 Simplification is for cowards!
55.Kc1 Rg3 56.Rxa6 Fighting to the end! See diagram 3. This could still go badly for Black with 56…Qxf3?? 57.Qh6+.
56…Qh1+ 57.Kb2 (57.Kd2 c3+) Qb1+ 58.Ka3 Rxf3 0-1 Afterwards we all went outside to drink beer, smoke cigars and shoot stuff.