Know this: No matter how quick a chipmunk may be, I will capture it.
No matter how clever the burrowing rodent, I will detain it. No matter how Belichickian in confidence, no matter how carefree it may be in cavorting across the steps of my front porch, no matter how deeply it may have dug to undermine my entire driveway, no matter how many exit holes it may have excavated and re-excavated after I dropped in pound after pound of pea gravel – still will I come forth with my gleaming Havaheart traps of alloyed aluminum. And I will catch its scrawny little striped butt.
For I am the Mighty Chipmunk Hunter.