A certain person dear to my heart reminded me to be extra kind to my fellow chessplayers this year “because many of them have never had a Valentine.”
[Aside: As mentioned, chess wives are an unusually patient and understanding lot. However, we’ve also documented their great enjoyment of ridicule. Smart chess husbands just smile and laugh uproariously at these jibes, so long as we get to keep playing.]
At any rate, I feel compelled to pass along just a couple of words of wisdom to my fellow geeks, based on several years of observation, and with no malice at heart. These simple principles will not only improve the conditions of our beloved tournament but may also improve your success in social situations:
1. Pee IN the toilet, not ON the toilet.
2. Try to finish buckling and zipping BEFORE you walk out into the lobby.