Contributing editor Matt Phelps won the “Not-Bobby” contest in fine style – nominating Clint Howard as the WORST casting possible to play the lead role in a Bobby Fischer biopic.
Well that was fun, wasn’t it? And now comes the news that Guillermo del Toro (Pan’s Labyrinth) has opted out of directing the live-action films based on The Hobbit. JRR Tolkien fans are hot to get Peter Jackson aboard, since he demonstrated the right level of reverence and faithfulness in Lord of the Rings.
Which got us to thinking about the WORST-case scenarios for The Hobbit:
Director [ouvre] likely plot modifications:
Michael Bay [Transformers, Armageddon] Three solid hours of Hobbitbots and Dwarfbots firing shoulder rockets at screaming MechaTrolls.
Paul W. S. Anderson [Mortal Kombat, Event Horizon, and Soldier (which got even worse reviews than the other 2)] Additional storylines cribbed directly from Flatliners, Star Trek, Boyz N the Hood, Saw I-VI, and whatever GamePro issues are lying around the house at the moment.
David Lynch [Twin Peaks, Blue Velvet] Absolutely no guess here.
Adam Shankman [Cheaper by the Dozen, The Pacifier] Casts Steve Martin as Gandalf, Keanu Reeves as Bilbo, Daryl Hannah as Thorin Oakenshield.
John Waters [Hairspray, Pink Flamingos] One word: “Furries”.
Whaddya think? Got any WORSE ideas?